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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525091">Bella</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueblue1965/pseuds/blueblue1965'>blueblue1965</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>F1 but with horses [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Falling In Love, Fluff, Horse AU, M/M, a little bit self indulgent, equestrian AU, it's just horses, once again idk how to tag this, show jumping</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:01:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueblue1965/pseuds/blueblue1965</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Working at the stables has always been enough for Antonio but suddenly Kimi has bigger plans for him and as if that wasn't enough, life decides to throw a handsome Swede into the mix too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel, Marcus Ericsson/Antonio Giovinazzi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>F1 but with horses [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bella</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I really didn't want to write something else before I finish my other project but then bwoahtastic posted some Horse Girl headcanons and aesthetics on tumblr and now this happened.</p><p>Big thanks to my beta Marla &lt;3</p><p>Enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's still early in the morning when Antonio arrives at the stables. He opens the big metal gate before getting into his car again and driving the long way up the hill past the big pastures.<br/>
The mist is still covering most of the grass and wraps the trees into creepy shadow figures. Antonio loves it.</p><p>There aren't any horses out this early in the morning especially since the foaling season is still a few weeks away. The Italian can't wait for the little babies and starts smiling unconsciously. </p><p>He parks his car and gets out but looking around he can't spot Kimi meaning his boss is either already in the stable (very likely) or still asleep (unlikely).</p><p>For just a little moment there is nothing but comfortable silence around him. Closing his eyes Antonio appreciates it for a second before making his way towards the main barn. </p><p>Kimi is nowhere to be seen here either, instead Antonio is greeted with a hay bale falling from the sky (not literally).</p><p>"Kimi?", he calls out into the hayloft, and seconds later Kimi's face appears over the railing. </p><p>"Antonio? What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Trying not to get crushed by a hay bale?"</p><p>"I thought you wouldn't show up 'till half-past."</p><p>"It is half-past", Antonio shows Kimi his watch, well knowing that he couldn't read it from up there anyway. </p><p>Confusion is written all over Kimi's face but he composes himself relatively quickly. </p><p>"You want to help then?"</p><p>"It's what I'm getting paid for", he answers, Kimi nodding in agreement. That was what feels like half of the amount of their overall conversation for this day.</p><p>Antonio doesn't mind working silently next to Kimi, throwing hay bales downstairs and just hanging after his own thoughts. </p><p>He gets paid well, gets to work with horses and his boss isn't some asshole that thinks he can treat Antonio like shit just because he owns a multimillion-pound property. </p><p>Most of the boarders are quite nice, too. </p><p>After every horse in the main barn got their respective portion of breakfast hay, both men make their way over to the boarding stable. </p><p>"So what's on the plan today?", he asks while simultaneously holding open the hay nets for Kimi. </p><p>"Well the horses of that Swedish showjumper are supposed to arrive at around eleven", he makes a pause seemingly trying to remember anything else, "eh… lessons? Yeah, the vet is coming to check on Dan's mare and I think that's it for today."</p><p>Antonio nods along and they fall into comfortable silence afterwards again. Or well as much silence as there can be when some of the boarding horses are real brats and already started kicking against the doors because they don't get their hay fast enough.</p><p>"Who's kicking?", Kimi mumbles.</p><p>Antonio leans around the corner to get a better look at the stables. The young grey gelding immediately stops trying to destroy the door and watches Antonio innocently now instead. </p><p>"Stroll's", he answers to Kimi's question, his boss just rolling his eyes. </p><p>"That horse is a brat, they did a great job buying it and fucking up to Canada afterwards", he says sarcastically, filling the last net with hay before taking three more and going off to hang them into the stalls. </p><p>Antonio hurries to grab a few nets himself and to hang them in the stall as well.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The horse truck arrives at exactly eleven o'clock just like Kimi said.</p><p>It's a big one, grey, the Swedish flag is painted on the side with three horse silhouettes in the foreground. It's pretty but Antonio stopped being impressed by horse trucks quickly after he started working here.</p><p>The driver hops out of the truck. He is what feels like only half of Antonio's size and greets him with a big smile despite having just driven for three days straight.</p><p>He opens up the doors, revealing the first of the four new horses, a lanky, bay gelding. The driver barely reaches the horse’s shoulder as he leads him out and hands him to Antonio before going in again to get the second horse.</p><p>Once all four horses are in their stables and happily nibble away at some hay, Antonio waves the driver goodbye and greets his unexpected free time.</p><p>He wanders around aimlessly, petting some of the horses that are out on the paddocks, and at some point, he runs into Charles' lapdog, meaning that the Monégasque has to be around somewhere, too.</p><p>Speaking of the devil, Charles is riding out of the indoor arena just at this moment, beaming as soon as he spots Antonio. </p><p>"Tonio", he especially stresses the last o, "do me a favour please."</p><p>Antonio sighs, knowing full well what's about to happen. Charles and his stallion are dressed in a matching wine-red coloured outfit. Antonio is impressed yet at the same time he isn't, Charles going full out with matching outfits isn't something that is exactly new.</p><p>"Take a photo of me, please", demanding as he is, he just shoves his iPhone in Antonio's hands before turning his stallion around to pose in front of the indoor arena. </p><p>Occasionally that's part of Antonio's job, playing photographer for wannabe Instagram models (that never stood in his job description), although judging by Charles following it's probably more than a wannabe thing and more like an actual job, but who cares? Certainly not Antonio. </p><p>He does put effort into the photos though, admittedly it is kind of fun to do it. Squatting down Antonio tries to get the perfect angle for a photo, snapping a few and Charles gets into a different pose after every single click of the camera.</p><p>"Do you want Chico on your photo too?", he casually asks and watches how Charles' eyes light up.</p><p>"Oui!", he exclaims, making grabby hands at the small dog.</p><p>Antonio lifts him up so Charles can hold him in his arm. For a moment Antonio just watches how Charles coos at the small thing while Chico just looks like he's missing the one brain cell that he and his owner share most of the time. Chico is by far the dumbest dog Antonio has ever seen.</p><p>He quickly snaps a few more pictures before handing the phone back to Charles.</p><p>"Merci!", he says but Antonio waves him off, already heading in the direction of Kimi's office. Maybe his boss has something to do for him otherwise, Antonio would just go and try to do some of his cores in advance so he might get home early today.</p><p>He bumps into Sebastian, who just comes out of his husband's office, and politely declines his offer for a cup of coffee. It's a strange experience to walk into Kimi's office even after what feels like the thousand times Antonio did it.</p><p>The far wall is a dedication to his trophies and medals won over the years in addition to the big picture of him and Iceman winning the Olympics in 2012. It kind of awakes Antonio's childhood dream that he stopped daring to dream once he grew up.</p><p>"The horses arrived safely?"</p><p>"Yeah there were no problems with them, they're all pretty chill."</p><p>"Thought so. Anything else?"</p><p>"No, there isn't much to do right now, so I might do some of the chores in advance and go home earlier today if you have nothing else for me to do."</p><p>The thing is, Antonio loves riding horses but can't afford his own one. That means that the days where Kimi asks him to ride on one of his horses are the days Antonio loves the most, yet he never asks specifically for it. He thinks he is pretty good at hiding this wish but Kimi always knows what he wants when Antonio asks questions like that.</p><p>"I wanted to jump Bella later, you can warm her up for me if you want", he says, a small smile spreading on his lips.</p><p>Antonio can't help but smile too, even when he tries to hide his excitement. He mumbles a quick thanks and then hurries out of the office, heading to the main barn.</p><p>Bella, or Belladonna, is a six-year-old, light bay mare with a big blaze and three white stockings. She is also the incarnation of what Antonio would call a total bitch (or in the equestrian world the prime example of a typical mare).</p><p>Antonio hasn't even reached her stall yet but he's already greeted with pinned back ears and an attitude.</p><p>"Don't give me that, girl", he hums as he puts her halter on. Luckily most of the time Bella is all bark and no bite. Still, when Antonio tries to lead her out of her stable she yanks him back to get some hay for on the road.</p><p>There are no further incidents for the time he grooms her. As long as she doesn't have to do any work afterwards Bella actually loves being brushed. Both of them know that they can't quite agree on the no work part but when Antonio finds her favourite scratching spot it is okay, for now.</p><p>The drama starts once Antonio gets her tack out, the bay mare refusing to stand still as he tries to put the saddle on while trying to bite him at the same time.</p><p>"You know girl, this attitude won't bring you far in life if you keep that up", he says as he stands in front of her and holds her head still. For a moment they both intensely stare at each other before Bella starts nipping on his hands and Antonio gets back to fasten the girth.</p><p>After another good five minutes of arguing whether Bella should accept the bit in her mouth or not she is finally tacked up, standing there as if nothing had happened. </p><p>Maybe she's silently judging Antonio for taking so long. Maybe she's just hungry. Who knows, she's a horse after all.</p><p>Antonio decides to ride in the smaller outdoor arena. It might be a little bit cold but he's also not too keen on having another discussion with Bella about other horses that may or may not be in her personal space.<br/>
Right now he’d rather take a relaxed horse and no other people around. </p><p>Bella is over-eager to move, not wanting to just walk around in circles. However, Antonio knows her antics and is a good enough rider to not get startled when she spooks at the same corner twice. </p><p>That means that after ten minutes of Bella testing his abilities they can finally work on warming up and stretching. </p><p>It goes pretty well, except for a few bucks when Antonio asks her to canter but sometimes you just need to let it out. He is so focused on riding that he doesn't even notice Kimi joining him in the arena. </p><p>Only when he hears Kimi turning the trotting poles into a small cross he looks up in confusion. Usually, Kimi would jump in the big grass arena so why would he build a jump in here?</p><p>"Can you jump her over here?", he says, casually standing next to the jump. Antonio looks at the cross, back to Kimi, and back to the cross. Judging by its height it looks smaller than a level 1 jump. </p><p>"Sure."</p><p>Once again he asks Bella to canter, heading straight for the jump while trying to keep a steady rhythm. Bella, however, sees things differently, turning three strides into two and taking a leap that feels like she's about to jump a Grand Prix open water instead of this mini cross. </p><p>The landing is hard and Antonio is sure that it wasn't very graceful either but when he looks back to Kimi, his boss has an unreadable expression on his face that confuses him even more.</p><p>"Do it again."</p><p>This time Antonio is prepared for the strong forward pull. It did look more graceful this time as well, although Bella's jumping style is definitely something he needs to get used to.</p><p>Kimi makes him jump the cross two times more before changing the cross into a higher vertical. He makes Antonio jump this one too and looks satisfied afterwards. </p><p>"Good job, that's it for today", he says and it confuses Antonio even more. </p><p>"Didn't you want to ride her?"</p><p>"No", Kimi leaves the arena and all Antonio can do is look after him, trying to figure out what is going on.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The next few days are relatively quiet, at least as quiet as it can get at the stables. Every day without drama is a good day in Antonio's eyes so he doesn't complain. </p><p>Kimi makes him ride Bella once again but doesn't let him jump this time. Antonio still doesn't know what to make out of that. </p><p>It's 10 AM when he arrives at the stables because Kimi gave him a day off today (more or less). He is actually supposed to show the Swedish jumper around since Kimi is on a horse show and can't do it himself. Antonio is the only person he trusts enough with this except for maybe Seb but his husband knows good to nothing about horses so that could just as well end in a disaster.</p><p>He waits over an hour for him to arrive and briefly wonders whether something had happened or if that guy is just rude. Whatever it is, Antonio already dislikes him.</p><p>Just as he is about to call Kimi, to ask if he is sure that this guy will arrive today, a silver Mercedes arrives. Seconds later a blond man gets out of the car and judging by the fact he has never seen this guy before Antonio assumes that this is him. </p><p>"Mr Ericsson?", he asks as he approaches, making the blond man lookup. He smiles kindly and nods while Antonio asks himself how someone can look as adorable but at the same time as gorgeous and handsome as him. He takes back the part about disliking him.</p><p>"Please call me Marcus and you are?", his voice is really soft and Antonio has to take a few seconds before he remembers that he's supposed to shake his outstretched hand and introduce himself. </p><p>"Antonio, hi", inwardly he facepalms himself for how lamely that came out but Marcus is still smiling so maybe things aren't so bad. "Okay follow me."</p><p>"You probably already saw the pastures on your way up, they're mainly used to put the mares and foals out in the summer and this", he vaguely points to his right, "is the stable where most of Kimi's horses stay. Over there are the smaller outdoor arenas."</p><p>Marcus nods along, eyes following every movement of Antonio's hands, who can't help but blush a little and hurries up to walk to the indoor arena so Marcus won't see it.</p><p>He pushes the big door open and reveals the inside of the huge indoor arena. Marcus lets out an impressed whistle and takes a look around. </p><p>"It's used for basically everything, dressage, jumping, training… everything."</p><p>Antonio opens the side door that leads to the stables and gestures Marcus to follow him. The Swede immediately starts beaming when he spots his own horses, wandering over to greet them (at least Antonio assumes he's doing that since he is talking softly in Swedish).</p><p>It doesn't matter that he barely knows Marcus for 10 minutes but Antonio thinks he's already falling in love with him.</p><p>"They're beautiful", he says as he watches how Marcus cuddles the bay gelding. </p><p>"His name is Quicky."</p><p>Antonio raises his eyebrow at that which makes Marcus blush when he realises what he just said.</p><p>"No… not like that, actually his name is Quillan and it’s just a stupid nickname, no dirty thoughts", he stutters but all it does is make Antonio laugh at which Marcus' blush only intensifies. "His brother is called Quax."</p><p>"Is that a Swedish thing?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"The names?"</p><p>"I don't know", Marcus answers truthfully. </p><p>They both share a laugh and Antonio continues to show him the tack room down the aisle. </p><p>"This is the tack room… and you are not supposed to be in here", he sweeps up the grey cat that sits on the table in the middle of the room. The cat wiggles around for a moment before it starts purring loudly, seemingly assuming it will be carried around from now on. "This is Alfred, there have been some complaints about him being in here, but well try telling a cat he isn't allowed somewhere."</p><p>Marcus chuckles at that, starting to pet the cat's head who now purrs even louder, loving all the attention he's getting. </p><p>"Anyway in here is all the tack, you get one locker per boarded horse and usually that's enough except for when your name is Charles Leclerc", he turns around, switches the lights off and leads Marcus outside again.</p><p>"Who's that?"</p><p>"Oh you'll get to know Charles soon enough, don't worry."</p><p>Antonio leaves early after showing Marcus around, having nothing else to do anyway. When he falls asleep that night his dreams are occupied with strikingly blue eyes and bay geldings called Quicky.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The next few days are quiet again, the calm before the storm probably since the show season is just around the corner and the mares are all just waiting to give birth at this point.</p><p>Everything goes peacefully except for the part where Kimi teased him about watching Marcus train. Which is ridiculous because that was one time and only because Antonio had nothing to do anyway and just happened to be there. Kimi just laughed when Antonio told him that though. </p><p>At the moment he's riding Bella again or like Kimi called it "warming her up". But, to be honest, this the fourth time he's doing it without Kimi riding her afterwards so he stopped believing it by now.</p><p>Speaking of Kimi, the Finn is leaning against the fence once again with an unreadable expression on his face as he watches every move Antonio makes. It makes him feel uncomfortable. </p><p>"Come over here. No no, stay on. Stay on", Kimi says as he opens the gate and waves for Antonio to follow him. </p><p>Antonio wishes he could say that he long stopped trying to understand Kimi but he didn't, that's why he's even more confused right now as he guides Bella to follow after Kimi. </p><p>The realisation only dawns on him when he recognises exactly where Kimi is leading them, the big jumping arena. Only thinking of it makes Antonio's stomach turn uncomfortably but he also doesn't dare to say anything against it.</p><p>Instead, he lets Bella canter around the arena once while Kimi lowers some of the jumps. He notices Seb watching both of them and if Antonio wasn't already confused he would definitely be now. Seb however just sends him a reassuring smile and Antonio tries to smile back but it only turns out to be a weird grimace. </p><p>Kimi snaps with his fingers to draw the attention back to him.</p><p>"You'll start with this one right here, then this red oxer over there followed by the combination and finally the green cross, can you do this?"</p><p>Antonio follows Kimi's hand that draws out a route through the small course, looks at all the jumps one by one. They aren't really higher than a good meter each.</p><p>"Yeah", his voice sounds raspy and he has to swallow before he pushes Bella forward.</p><p>It's not much, there are only five jumps in Kimi's course but Antonio feels the rush of adrenaline anyway as they fly through it. He quickly gets used to Bella's strong forward movement as she jumps over the different obstacles without much effort and it's over way too quickly. </p><p>He comes to a halt next to Kimi and Seb who share a look before Kimi gives him the tiniest of smiles. </p><p>"Good job."</p><p>Apparently, Antonio just passed a test he didn't know he was taking. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Knowing that he passed some kind of test doesn't tell him the nature of the test, at least not until two days later when Seb tells him that Kimi is looking for him.</p><p>That's how Antonio finds himself sitting in Kimi's office, his emotions doing a full-on roller coaster because what if Kimi is about to fire him? Did he do something wrong? Are there enough other employees around and they don't need Antonio anymore? What will he do then?</p><p>That Kimi is about to tell him something completely different doesn't come into his mind.</p><p>"How are you, Antonio?"</p><p>Antonio can only stare at him, blinking while trying to process his words. </p><p>"Ehm… good?", if Kimi notices that it was a question rather than an answer he doesn't say anything. It makes Antonio shift uncomfortably in his seat as he waits for Kimi's next move.</p><p>"Relax you did nothing wrong", he says and Antonio tries to awkwardly laugh it off but it doesn't work.</p><p>"You did a good job working with Bella in the last few days", he starts, scribbling something on a note in front of him.</p><p>"I guess", Antonio answers slowly and lightly turns his head, trying to read what Kimi is writing but the Finns handwriting is already hard to read on a good day so trying to read it upside down is good to impossible. </p><p>"You did good and I want you to show her."</p><p>Antonio almost chokes on the sharp intake of air and he can only stare at Kimi while his boss just looks as calm and unbothered as ever.</p><p>"You mean like ride her? In actual competitions? Kimi, I can't do that, I can't-"</p><p>"You're fucking talented Antonio, I trust you to do good. There is a local show jumping competition in four weeks, I signed you up for it", his voice is firm, leaving no room for arguments.</p><p>"But- I don't- I don't even own any white breeches", he mumbles and stares at his feet, "nor a coat or boots."</p><p>Kimi just waves him off and chuckles. </p><p>"That's the least of our problems."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Turns out Kimi is right. News travel quickly around here and suddenly everyone wants to see Antonio jump. It gives him a whole new kind of stress to deal with.</p><p>Kimi took some work of him, making him focus more on his riding. It led to an argument but in the end, Antonio had to agree that it makes more sense although that doesn't mean he's happy with it.</p><p>The plan of keeping him out of the spotlight works for exactly four days but as soon as Antonio spots the first guest next to the fence it's over for him.</p><p>He misjudges the lengths to the jumps, either jumping too late or too early and although Bella is a bitch 90% of the time she's also an honest one, taking every jump to the best of her abilities. Bless her.</p><p>It takes ten minutes until Kimi barks at Charles and Lando to get lost and bans them both from the showjumping arena for the next four weeks (they have no business being here anyway).</p><p>Jumping becomes easier after that.</p><p>Antonio actually does become better, not that he ever questioned it. Kimi is a good trainer, after all, he just never thought he could jump like that. Even when it helps that Bella is born for show jumping, Kimi makes sure to reassure Antonio that he's doing a good job as well.</p><p>At least that is when Antonio is fully focused on his riding, not like the one time Marcus suddenly appeared on his young flaxen chestnut and he found himself jumping alongside the Swedish rider. </p><p>Kimi ends the training early that day, leaving with a wink and Antonio speechless. </p><p>If Antonio drags out the cool-down phase and watches Marcus jump it's just a coincidence. </p><p>"Hey", Antonio flinches, he didn't even notice Marcus coming up next to him. "Do you- do you want to maybe go on a ride around the stables? To cool down?"</p><p>"Eh- sure." Antonio blushes and if he didn't know any better he would say there was a light flush on Marcus' cheeks too.</p><p>They ride in awkward silence past the small pastures in which Antonio tries to keep Bella from biting Marcus' horse while simultaneously also trying not to get caught staring.</p><p>Marcus is wearing a tight fitted dark blue polo shirt and grey breeches, looking absolutely gorgeous (as always) while Antonio is wearing a fading tie-dye shirt and jeans. He tries very hard to not feel embarrassed but fails.</p><p>"I didn't know you were a jumper", Antonio's head snaps up and he finds Marcus smiling softly at him.</p><p>"I didn't know it either until a week ago", he tries to joke and quickly looks down again, "I'm not, Kimi just had this kinda stupid idea of me being a decent enough rider to compete in an actual show."</p><p>"Hey don't put yourself down like that, you're a good rider, Tonio", he says firmly, looking so intensely into Antonio's eyes that he has to look away. A small "thank you" is all he manages to say.</p><p>Marcus called him Tonio.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>It sort of becomes a ritual, them going on a cool-down ride around the stables and even when Marcus didn't jump that day, he will wait for Antonio to take him on a ride anyway.</p><p>On the third week, Antonio realises he definitely fell hard for the Swedish rider. He likes to think of it as a subtle build-up but then remembers that he was already dreaming of strikingly blue eyes on the very first night, yeah scratch the subtle part.</p><p>Falling in love is more like an explosion and suddenly all the butterflies in your stomach are happily doing loopings.</p><p>Antonio tries not to think too much about it, he has a competition to ride at the end of the month meaning that he has to deal with the butterflies later.</p><p>Being so deep in his thoughts he doesn't notice Seb sneaking up to him. He was actually walking normally but Antonio flinches violently when he suddenly stands next to him.</p><p>"I have something for you", he says and motions for Antonio to follow him.</p><p>They end up in Kimi's office, the Finn isn't there but Seb confidently walks in anyway. Antonio supposes that you can just do that when you're the boss' husband. </p><p>"Happy Birthday!", Seb grins and motions to the two boxes on Kimi's desk. Once again Antonio can only stare.</p><p>"It's not my birthday."</p><p>"Let's just pretend it his", Seb waves him off, "go and open your presents."</p><p>Antonio eyes him wearily before he inspects the two boxes. It's not like Antonio expects a bomb or something, nonetheless, he is pretty cautious. Seb just rolls his eyes and motions for him to move faster.</p><p>With one last questioning look at Seb, he takes the first box and opens it. Of all thing expected, it wasn’t this. </p><p>Promptly tears start filling his eyes as he takes the red-brown boots out of the box. They look old but pretty, Charles would call them vintage. </p><p>They also match the colour of Bella's saddle. </p><p>Antonio looks back at Seb, not quite believing that these are for him, clearly, there must have been a mix-up but Seb just smiles softly and nods, as if he wants to say "yes I'm serious they are for you."</p><p>"Open the other box", he says instead. </p><p>Carefully Antonio puts the boots down on the table- He knows they're designed to survive much rougher handling but he is afraid they might break anyway. </p><p>He opens the other box just as cautiously as the first one. If there have been tears in his eyes before, now they're definitely spilling over. </p><p>There is a navy blue coat neatly folded in there and as Antonio carefully takes it out he finds white breeches underneath, too. He has to take a seat before he completely breaks down crying.</p><p>"If I knew this was your reaction I wouldn't have bought you this too", Seb says making Antonio's head snap around. Seb is holding a matching navy blue saddle pad and that's it for Antonio. </p><p>He lets out an ugly sob and buries his head in his hands. In an instant, Seb's arms are wrapped around his neck and pull him close. Antonio is probably ruining his dress shirt right now but neither of them seems to care much.</p><p>"Fuck Seb, I- I can't-"</p><p>"Don't say you can't accept this Antonio, you might be Kimi's little protege but you're also representing us when you are competing and I won't let you ride in holey boots", he says firmly and cups Antonio's face, "so stop crying and say ‘thank you Seb’."</p><p>His face feels a little squished in Seb's hands which actually manages to make him laugh a little bit.</p><p>"Thank you, Seb."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Five days to go and the nerves start getting to him. Antonio brings Bella to a halt next to Kimi, looks at the jumps and then back to Kimi.</p><p>"Do I actually have to go full out show jumping? Can't I like do a hunter class first and then maybe see where it's going?"</p><p>Kimi stares at him for a moment before he bursts out laughing. </p><p>"Yeah if you want to come dead last. You can't do hunter with Bella and you know that", he says, even using his serious voice that leaves no room for arguments. </p><p>Antonio sighs and Kimi makes him jump the course once again before ending the training for today.</p><p>Marcus is nowhere to be seen when he lets Bella stretch out. Antonio tries to not be offended because honestly there is nothing to be offended about. After all, Marcus isn't obligated to accompany him on a ride.</p><p>It still makes him kind of sad though. </p><p>He lets Bella out in the pasture, watching her for a few minutes before returning to the barn. Walking around the corner while staring at his feet might be a bad idea because Antonio promptly runs into another person that looks just as shocked to see him here. </p><p>"You? Here?", Marcus takes a look at his watch and his eyes go wide, "oh shit. I'm sorry, Tonio, I didn't realise how late it is. I totally missed the end of your training."</p><p>Somehow it makes Antonio's belly tingle a little and suddenly everything in him feels warm. Marcus didn't stand him up which makes him smile lightly. </p><p>"It's okay, I-, it's alright", he stammers, once again looking on the ground to hide his rising blush, "you don't have to."</p><p>"But I want to", Marcus says softly. </p><p>For a moment they both stand there awkwardly trying to not look at each other until the Swede speaks up again.</p><p>"I- eh don't have training today so we could maybe take the horses and go on a walk if you don't mind", he mumbles, getting quieter towards the end.</p><p>"Sure, I would love that", Antonio hums as an answer. </p><p>That's how Antonio ends up with Marcus' grey mare, Embla, in one hand, walking next to the Swede who's leading his chestnut mare, Nanna as he introduced her.</p><p>Antonio can't help but smile while thinking about how every time someone at the stable says they're taking their dog for a walk they actually mean horse.</p><p>He keeps looking at Marcus and finds him already watching him. It's ridiculous, really, how one person can make him smile like that. </p><p>Antonio tries to remember the last time he blushed that much in such a short amount of time.</p><p>Marcus keeps talking about his home in Sweden, telling Antonio all about what it is like to ride in the deep snow or how he misses seeing the mountains in the distance when he's riding. </p><p>It somehow makes Antonio miss Sweden despite never having been there himself. </p><p>"I'll take you with me someday and then we will ride in the snow", Marcus says dreamily. </p><p>Antonio tries to laugh it off, not wanting to show just how much he would love this. Marcus looks very serious though. </p><p>"When are you competing?", Marcus asks once they're back at the stable. </p><p>"Saturday", Antonio mumbles. It's something he very much doesn't want to think about right now. Four weeks came and went in the blink of an eye and suddenly it all feels too real.</p><p>"I'm sure you'll do amazing", Marcus says, smiling softly again. Everyone seems to believe that, yet Antonio isn't so sure about that.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*** </p>
</div><p>The day of the competition arrives faster than Antonio would like. Suddenly it's Saturday morning, a small horse trailer is parked in front of the stable and they're meant to leave in a little less than three hours. </p><p>Antonio has been on the edge since yesterday evening. </p><p>He walks around aimlessly, having nothing to do because Kimi took all the work of him, but not wanting to sit at home and die of anxiety either.</p><p>Although if he had stayed at home he wouldn’t have to see what’s happening in front of his eyes right now.</p><p>Marcus is leaning against the wall and Charles is there as well. Charles who is leaning against Marcus, arms wrapped around his neck and their faces just millimetres apart. Antonio thinks he has to vomit.</p><p>He spins around and runs, somehow ending up in the tack room of the main barn and just hides there under the saddle rags until his breathing calms down.</p><p>There aren't even tears, he's too exhausted to cry or maybe it's the stress. Whatever it is it doesn't make it better. His stomach is turning and his whole body is shaking.</p><p>Did he read the signs wrong? Was Marcus just leading him on all the time or was Antonio just falling so hard because someone was nice to him for once?</p><p>He can't believe he's been fooled by that. Of course, when people have the choice they would rather date Charles, he's rich, looks like a fucking model and has a big future in the sport ahead of him, while Antonio wears faded shirts and old sneakers when he rides, is too afraid to go to a competition and can barely afford his rent every month.</p><p>Apparently, he's been really stupid when he thought that Marcus could actually fall for him.</p><p>When he takes a look at the clock on the wall it tells him that he still has over two hours to kill before they get going. Fucking great.</p><p>In the end, he takes on of the stools and walks to Bella's stable, the mare once again pinning her ears back but quickly going back to eating her breakfast when she realises Antonio isn't here to interrupt her.</p><p>He takes a brush, mindlessly untangling her mane while the image of Charles and Marcus kissing plays over and over in his head.</p><p>"Can you believe? I fall for a guy once and he's kissing someone else", he sighs, Bella keeps eating her hay, apparently not really listening to what Antonio is saying.</p><p>"Yeah I don't get it either", he takes an elastic from his pocket and starts braiding her mane. "But you know what the crazy thing is? I really thought he could like me, too."</p><p>Now the tears start coming and he tries to wipe them away but more and more start pouring down his face.</p><p>He angrily keeps braiding Bella's mane until his vision gets too blurry to keep going. He sinks to the ground, sobbing and pulling his knees close to his chest. </p><p>Bella starts nibbling on his hair. Antonio doesn't know whether it is because she actually feels with him or if she is just searching for treats. Either way, he does feel a little bit better afterwards. </p><p>It takes another hour or so for him to finish grooming Bella and braiding her mane. It looks like shit but at least he tried.</p><p>He changes into his competition clothes and suddenly everyone is ready to go, everyone except for Antonio. </p><p>"I'm not ready Kimi, I can't do this", he whispers, staring at the horse trailer that's parked in front of the stable.</p><p>"Bullshit Tonio, it's normal to be nervous", he says, nudging him in the direction of the car.</p><p>"Ericsson wanted to come with us and-"</p><p>"No!", Antonio actually looks terrified at that. Kimi just raises an eyebrow. </p><p>"I don't want anyone to come except you and Seb, can we just go?", he pleas. </p><p>Luckily Kimi doesn't ask further questions, just lets him climb into the back seat while he and Seb get into the front.</p><p>"Ready Tonio?"</p><p>"Not at all."</p><p>It takes 45 minutes for them to arrive at the barn that hosts the competition. Antonio tries to sink into the cushions of Kimi's car but it doesn't work.</p><p>While Seb does all the sign-up stuff Kimi and Antonio stay back and tack up Bella (or rather Kimi tacks her up while Antonio tries to stop his hands from sweating).</p><p>Seb comes back, holding a few papers and Antonio's starting number.</p><p>Antonio is about to go into another panic mode but Kimi snatches the numbers out of Seb's hands and Seb makes Antonio sit down to comb his hair into a neat ponytail. </p><p>He's shaking when Kimi helps him into the saddle and has to close his eyes for a moment while riding to the warm-up arena. </p><p>Everything goes by in a blur. He tries to properly warm Bella up but he already fails at basic riding. Bella keeps grinding her teeth every time a horse does as much as look into her direction, her ears are pinned back and suddenly she can't move on a straight line anymore. </p><p>Antonio briefly wonders if they accidentally swapped her with a dressage horse when she starts moving sideways again.</p><p>To make things worse he knocks down the poles every time he tries to jump the warm-up jumps.</p><p>When he stops next to Kimi and Seb the German is mumbling something about the final rehearsal having to go bad in order for the show to be perfect. </p><p>Kimi starts briefing him about the course again while Antonio nervously starts pulling the braids out again. Bella looks better without them anyway.</p><p>Still, it doesn't feel right and Antonio is on the verge of a breakdown when he feels Kimi's warm hand on his leg. </p><p>"You can do this, I believe in you Tonio", he says in a low voice and this time Antonio really tries to believe him.</p><p>The rider before him finishes with 4 faults. Antonio takes one last deep breath before riding out in the arena, trying to stay as calm as possible while simultaneously trying to remember the course. </p><p>The bell rings and from that point on time seems to slow down for them. Bella stops prancing when Antonio asks her to canter, going wide before lining up to the first jump, a brown oxer.</p><p>Everything will go well.</p><p>Except it doesn't. </p><p>One moment they're moving perfectly in sync, the next moment Bella stops in front of the first jump and Antonio is thrown forward. Bella is scrambling backwards before he can regain his balance which results in Antonio falling forward and hitting the ground. </p><p>For a moment he just sits there, panting, not realising what is going on. Bella never refused a jump before, no matter how bad they lined up to it, Bella always jumped.</p><p>Now it's over before it even started.</p><p>Antonio does a quick check over, finds nothing hurting but his dignity and stands up to catch Bella who is nervously stepping from side to side while furiously snoring at the jump. </p><p>He is covered in wet sand and starts shivering. Whether it is from the cold or not, he doesn't want to know. His legs feel like they aren't able to support his weight and he has to lean against Bella for a moment, taking a shaky breath before he manages to lead her out of the arena.</p><p>Kimi says nothing when he leads Bella past him and back to the trailer, he says nothing when Seb appears at his side and keeps on watching Antonio silently. </p><p>Antonio fumbles with the buckles, struggling to get them loose since his hands are shaking like crazy. It's that moment in which Kimi decides to speak up.</p><p>"It's okay-"</p><p>"No, it's not!", Antonio finally snaps. He stares at Kimi and there are tears forming in his eyes. "I fucking told you I'm not ready but you just chose to ignore it. I don't know what you see in me Kimi but I'm not you, I wasn't made for this! I can't do this!"</p><p>He's still struggling with the girth, quickly getting so frustrated that he only realises that Bella got upset when she bites his side. </p><p>It didn't really hurt, neither will it leave more than a bruise but Antonio jumps back anyway, too shocked to even properly process what is going on.</p><p>Seb's arms are wrapped around him immediately, he tries to fight them for a few seconds before completely giving up and sobbing uncontrollably, all the tension and stress suddenly falling off of him. The only thing Antonio is left with is pure exhaustion. </p><p>He doesn't notice Kimi loading Bella up, he doesn't notice the ride back to the stable and doesn't know how he got into Seb's car.</p><p>Suddenly he's standing in his own flat, taking shaky breaths and stares at his own reflection in the hallway mirror. </p><p>His eyes are puffy, his ponytail is giving up, holding his hair together and there is still some sand sticking to his clothes. </p><p>Antonio can no longer look at it, he quickly undresses and just throws the clothes into a corner, hoping they might vanish together with his memories of this day.</p><p>He spends the rest of the evening hiding underneath the covers in his bed. It's pathetic but somehow it helps.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The only thing he did the next day was carefully cleaning the clothes and hiding them in the farthest corner of his closet. He only remembers he left the boots in Kimi's car when he can't find them after searching his flat twice. </p><p>On Monday Antonio turns his phone on again, after ignoring it for the whole weekend and almost immediately turns it off again when he is bombarded with hundreds of messages and missed calls. </p><p>After dismissing most of them without reading them he takes the bus to get to the stables since his car is still parked there. Antonio tries to come up with an explanation why Seb drove him but then thinking about it automatically resolves in thinking about the competition and that's something he doesn't want to think about. </p><p>It takes almost 10 minutes to walk up the driveway and Antonio is once again reminded why he usually takes the car.</p><p>Returning to work means returning to normality, more or less. Kimi doesn't talk to him about Saturday and neither does Seb the few times they crossed paths.</p><p>Working with Kimi in silence takes his mind off things and he almost feels safe doing the things he knows best, feeding horses and making sure that everything is neat.</p><p>It's almost normal except for the part where he keeps avoiding Charles and Marcus and more often than not ends up hiding in the tack room of the main barn.</p><p>Occasionally he does ride Bella but never jumps her again.</p><p>It's strange, this weird sense of normality except that everything is different now.</p><p>Two weeks later he finds himself on a bench in front of the big pastures, head resting on his knees and watching the little foals. </p><p>They turned them out a few days ago, the foals and their mothers will now stay here until the end of the summer until the conformation shows start and they're eventually sold off.</p><p>Antonio's eyes keep coming back to watch Dan's foal, the little filly not only standing out because of her unique Appaloosa pattern but also because of her seemingly never-ending energy. </p><p>Watching her run around puts a smile on Antonio's face.</p><p>He supposes that if his life was a movie, that this right now would be the part in which he realises life goes on, the love of his life will kiss him and they will both live happily ever after. Except that the love of his life his rather off kissing Monegasque dressage riders and life isn't a movie anyway so he keeps watching the foals while wallowing in self-pity.</p><p>At some point, Lando slides on the bench next to him and for a few minutes, they both watch the horses in silence before the younger one decides to speak up.</p><p>"Stop being sad, there is literally no reason for it."</p><p>Antonio can only stare at Lando, not being able to comprehend what he just said and certainly not being able to respond to it either. </p><p>"I- fell from a horse before I was even able to go over the first jump", he states the obvious. </p><p>"And? I got thrown into the water when I was on a time for first place but do you see me sulking?", Lando shoots back.</p><p>"No…", he grumbles, "the person I love kissed someone else."</p><p>"Okay listen Tonio", Lando starts, making Antonio sigh inwardly. "I don't know too much about love but I'm sure you'll find someone else, there are plenty of fish in the sea or something like that. <em>But</em> I think I know a thing or two about riding horses.</p><p>"So if that is your problem I recommend taking Bella on a ride, not in the arena, a proper ride through the forest. Get your mind of things and after that, you'll start over again."</p><p>Antonio keeps staring at him and wonders when and how Lando suddenly became so wise. </p><p>"I think I'm not only speaking for myself when I say I would have never dared to get on that beast of a horse let alone think about competing with her but you did and that makes you fucking brave", he ends his speech and calmly waits for Antonio's answer.</p><p>However, Antonio can only stare at him while his brain is processing the words that were just thrown at him. </p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Just say I'm right."</p><p>"You're right, Lando", he admits and Lando starts grinning proudly. </p><p>"I mean whatever knowledge you'll get out of it, if you realise show jumping isn't for you, you can always try eventing."</p><p>"Yeah no thanks I don't have a death wish kid", he waves him off but laughs anyway. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Antonio doesn't actually plan on following Lando's advice but after speaking to Kimi he does end up taking Bella on a ride. </p><p>The trail leads past the small pastures (Antonio pretends not to see Marcus' mares in one of them) before making a turn and disappearing into the forest. </p><p>He follows the path up and down through the forest, watches the leaves above him and just trusts Bella to not run off with him. It's quiet but that is no surprise. He meets two hikers and nods at them politely, after all, it's just like Seb said, he's representing their stables and that requires being nice to the people he meets. </p><p>Antonio never had the time to admire the landscape around him but now that he did, he never wants to see anything else.</p><p>Everything seems to bloom, he can hear the birds in the trees and Lando really has been right, it heals his soul, just a little at first but that's how it goes in the end. Baby steps. </p><p>On his way back he comes across the path that Kimi sometimes uses as a cross-country course. A combination of three not really solid jumps lays ahead of him and maybe that's exactly what Lando meant. </p><p>Antonio asks Bella to canter and the mare is instantly fully focused on what lies ahead of them. He feels calm, a lot calmer than he did two weeks ago and it shows.</p><p>Bella flies easily over the jumps and Antonio can't keep a laugh from escaping when he looks back. He hugs Bella happily and the mare lets out a contentedly sounding snore. She seems happy, too.</p><p>A smile is plastered all over Antonio's face and he quietly hums to himself as he grooms Bella afterwards. Maybe life isn't so bad after all.</p><p>Except that Antonio can't live in peace for long. Two days later, after he had just finished giving the horses their afternoon hay, Marcus appears in front of him. Antonio has nowhere to flee and even worse, Marcus looks like he's not going to leave.</p><p>"We need to talk", Marcus says but Antonio chooses to ignore him. A sudden anger flames up in his chest and he really doesn't want to talk so maybe ignoring helps.</p><p>"Antonio you’ve been avoiding me for two weeks now and I don't know what I did wrong, please tell me", he says. His voice is soft but it has a partly sad, partly pleading undertone. </p><p>It almost makes Antonio give in but then the image of Marcus kissing Charles appears in his head again so instead he takes the broom and angrily starts sweeping the floor.</p><p>"Talk to me!", Marcus louder voice makes him flinch but he doesn't show it when he turns around to glare at him.</p><p>"Don't you have better things to do? I'm sure your boyfriend is looking for you", Antonio snaps back and turns around again. He misses the confused look that forms on Marcus' face.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Oh please don't play dumb now Marcus, I saw you kissing Charles the other day, so why waste time with me when you could also snog him."</p><p>Antonio keeps sweeping the floor, producing way too much dust that burns in his lungs. But he doesn't care right now, he just needs something to let his angry energy out or else he might end up punching Marcus.</p><p>"I think you got something extremely wrong, I didn't kiss Charles, neither are we dating", Marcus says softly, "he isn't even my type… I'm more into Italians anyway."</p><p>"Well Charles speaks Italian", Antonio spits out, completely missing the point Marcus actually tried to make, "I'm sure when you ask him nicely he-"</p><p>He doesn't get further than that because suddenly there is a warm hand on his hip and soft lips that are kissing him. It's like everything Antonio has been waiting for, he feels his knees going weak and his heart starts hammering so loud he's sure Marcus must hear it.</p><p>When they break apart he clutches the broom in hope for some support and his brain starts thinking rationally again. Antonio takes a deep breath, ready to start shouting but Marcus quickly interrupts him.</p><p>"Let me explain?", he asks and sounds almost shy. </p><p>"Okay, go on."</p><p>"I think you really misunderstood something. Whatever you saw, I never kissed Charles, he tried kissing me but I stopped him and you know why?", Marcus looks into Antonio's eyes, gently cupping his face and the soft smile on his face is back. </p><p>"Because right from the start it was always you. I couldn't take my eyes off you even if I tried. Antonio, I think I'm in love with you."</p><p>A big smile forms on Antonio's face when he finally realises what Marcus just said. He lets the broom fall to the ground and happily leaps into his arms, hugging the Swede close and puts kisses all over his face.</p><p>"I think I'm in love with you, too", he whispers.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Maybe, just maybe life could be like the movies. Three days after the kiss, Antonio told Kimi he wanted to try again and now, a little more than a month after the last competition he's starting all over.</p><p>Everything feels different than the first time despite it actually being mostly the same. Antonio watches how Kimi tacks up Bella while Seb is combing his hair into a neat ponytail again. </p><p>He mindlessly keeps playing with his starting number. 099, the last time the little white badge showed 117. Somehow Antonio has the feeling the 99 might be his lucky number.</p><p>When he looks up he finds Marcus, <em>his boyfriend</em>, smiling back at him and he automatically starts smiling as well.</p><p>Once again Kimi helps him into the saddle and walks next to him to the warm-up arena. </p><p>Antonio feels calm which makes Bella relax as well. She still keeps her ears pinned back whenever a horse comes too close but at least this time he can warm her up without any struggles. </p><p>It's kind of strange, everything feels so much better, that Antonio is sure nothing can go wrong and when Marcus stands next to him looking as proud as he does, well Antonio doesn't really care about anything else anyway.</p><p>He rides into the arena, the bell rings and they get going. Bella lets out a happy buck before they both fully focus on the course ahead. </p><p>The jumps are slightly taller than they were in the other course but Bella couldn't care less, taking the first jump easily. </p><p>It's far away from perfect but it's definitely enough. When they take the last oxer and come clean Antonio releases a breath he didn't know he was holding since the first jump, effectively choking on the air but he can worry about that later. </p><p>He did it, he stood up and did it in the end, showing everyone but especially himself that it could be done.</p><p>Seb and Marcus beam up at him when he comes out of the arena and even Kimi is smiling while Antonio is still struggling to believe it.</p><p>It feels like a fever dream and yes, in the end, it wasn't enough for a podium but when the judge attaches the ribbon for the fifth place to Bella's bridle he cries anyway. </p><p>Somehow they survive the victory lap despite Bella's efforts to show everyone what it is like to play untamed mustang.</p><p>As soon as he gets off Marcus’ arms are wrapped around him, the Swede whispering "I'm so proud of you" over and over again. </p><p>At that moment Antonio realises that life isn't so bad after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote most of it from my own experience but I have to say, I've never ridden in a competition before and the stable I ride at is pretty small so there might be some things that are actually different from what I wrote (but that's why it's fiction right?)</p><p>Some explanations my beta pointed out for me:<br/>hunter - a jumping competition where you're judged by your jumping style (while in show jumping it's all about time and as few faults as possible)(there is more to it but at least in this context it's meant like this)</p><p>eventing - a (mostly) three-day event where you compete in all three disciplines (dressage, cross country, show jumping) </p><p>(If you find more words that are unclear tell me and I'll add them)</p><p>I have some ideas for other fics in this verse but I'll have to see how I'm able to write them.</p><p>For more questions or if you just want to talk about horses, I'm blueblue1965 on tumblr x</p></blockquote></div></div>
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